Some women fear spiders and snakes.  I fear clowns and bunnies.  Sure I’m frightened like the best of ’em when it comes to things that go slither and have eight legs.  However, my fear of clowns and bunnies is quite irrational.  Let’s start with the clowns shall we?

I believe it all started with the movie Poltergeist and the scene where the clown jumps out in the brother’s bedroom.  You know the one.  It gives me the shivers just thinking about it.  Well, then a few years later someone had the bright idea to get me one of those laughing clowns for my birthday.  Here’s a video of one just like mine:

Super creepy, right?  Keep in mind that this is not a video of MY clown.  My clown was thrown out just as fast as I could get rid of him!  Here’s the thing about the laughing clown.  I swear to you… One night that clown just started laughing.  All.  On.  Its.  Own.  I kid you not.  He was hidden on the very top of my bookshelf under a bunch of stuffed animals.  That way I would never, ever have to see him from where my bed was.  I mean how would I ever fall asleep if the thing was staring at me???  He just started laughing.  I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with a malfunction or anything.  After the laughing incident I think I had my parents remove his batteries.  Buh-bye, creepy clown.

Next up:  Creepy bunnies.  As in bunnies of the Easter variety.  Ready for the background on this one?  When I was about 5 years old my family and I went camping to Meramec State Park over Easter weekend.  It started raining a ton and we were awakened in the middle of the night by a park ranger saying that the river was flooding and everyone needed to get out fast!  So we quickly packed up and arrived back home in the wee hours of the morning.  I remember lying awake, quite concerned that the Easter Bunny would go to our campsite looking for me and only find a massive flood.  While my overactive imagination was coming up with all of these horrendous scenarios of what would happen to the Easter Bunny in the muddy waters of the Meramec… I saw a shadow land on my open bedroom door.  To my very own horror I watched as the head of the shadow grew these long rabbit shaped ears.  From that moment I was creeped out by the big, ‘ole bunny.  I mean seriously.  What kind of earless bunny goes into people’s homes and then peeps in on little children who are supposed to be sleeping?  Years later I learned that my dad was the “earless bunny” and when he saw me rustling around he made the bunny ears shadow.  Trying to keep the magic of the Easter Bunny alive, but in the process scaring the daylights out of me!

What else do I find nightmare provoking about the bunny of the Easter variety?  Bunnies are supposed to be ultra cute, soft creatures that hop around the yard all day and eat up the strawberries in your garden.  Every.  Single.  Strawberry.   (Another story for another day.)  Bunnies are not supposed to look like this:

So who had the bright idea to make the Easter Bunny look like an abominable monster anyway?

Obviously the daughter of my friend Holli Ann (of An Ordinary Blog) is going to be traumatized for quite some time.

(Disclosure:  All of the Easter Bunnies in this posting are actually from my friend’s personal pictures.  I like to keep things all personal like that. *wink*)

Then you have Spray Tan Bunny.

I mean really.  Who here has ever seen an orange bunny?  They do not exist in nature I tell you!

And this bunny?  He clearly has a perma smile that says, “That’s right.  I get my kicks scaring little kids.”

It’s like he’s laughing about it!

Then…

The bunny without a soul.

(Provided by Nancy of Initials, Inc.)

Look deep into his creepy, soulless eyes.  More shivers.

Finally…  Here is my Banjo with the clown looking bunny.

We have now come full circle.

For all those who observe this holiday…  I wish you a Happy Easter full of religious celebrations, good cheer, and a time of reflection spent with loved ones.  May we remember that this day is not about creepy bunnies, egg hunts, or even chocolate mini eggs.  It’s about a sacrifice so great and above all else that we have been given.  The ultimate gift.  I’m truly humble and grateful.  May we all have a blessed holiday weekend.